When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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In school look at the wall or something and feel like only a few seconds has gone by but really thirty minutes has

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

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Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

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When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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sometimes I get so bored watching tv that I have an incredible urge to throw the remote at the tv. I would never do it, but I always fear I might and break the tv.

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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At night when alone in my bed...I sometimes pretend like I got hit by a car or something, and my loved one is there with me...and I act out my last words...and how I would act. I've done this occasionally since I was 5. With different scenario's. Schmee

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I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

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I keep thinking a thing is about to fall from the table even though it's not close to the edge

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Say what even when u heard someone

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.