Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

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I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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I laugh easier when im with someone

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hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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Not answer a question or something of the sort Evan if you know you know the answer because you are paranoid that you are wrong.

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I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

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Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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Wearing cheap CZ rings to either stop guys hitting on me or pretend I'm engaged.

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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Pee in the shower.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.