Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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I laugh easier when im with someone

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

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I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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I really enjoy taking a shit and dont really know why.

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

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Wearing cheap CZ rings to either stop guys hitting on me or pretend I'm engaged.

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.