At night when alone in my bed...I sometimes pretend like I got hit by a car or something, and my loved one is there with me...and I act out my last words...and how I would act. I've done this occasionally since I was 5. With different scenario's. Schmee

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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In school look at the wall or something and feel like only a few seconds has gone by but really thirty minutes has

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Does anyone else look at people when there talking and then randomly get in on there conversation.

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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Say what even when u heard someone

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

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Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.