Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

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When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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Get worried i'll sleeptalk about the things I'm thinking about and someone will hear, so stop thinking about my deep and personal thoughts i think about before going to bed.

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Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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When I see something on facebook i dont like, I like it just so i can unlike it.

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look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.