never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

thumb_up thumb_down -85

okay,So we bought a 1000 piece puzzle and made a point to put it together when it was done we found that it was missing a piece so we went back to the same store bought the same puzzle and went through it until we found the missing piece then returned it.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

thumb_up thumb_down -131

Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

thumb_up thumb_down -137

Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When bored, I often fold pieces of paper to make a little point and poke my fingers/hands with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I laugh easier when im with someone

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When someone sits with crossed legs, I notice their lifted foot throb slightly with their pulse. It is really distracting sometimes.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When out I like to "people watch."

thumb_up thumb_down -68

While washing your hair in the shower, having the weird fear of opening your eyes to see something staring at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

thumb_up thumb_down -65

I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

thumb_up thumb_down -111

watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When I see something on facebook i dont like, I like it just so i can unlike it.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

thumb_up thumb_down -70

I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.