After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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do you feel that your normal, but you feel that the people around you are being nice to you because your mentally hanicapped

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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Afraid to do something your crush is doing so they don't think you're stalking them, even though you really want to. -B

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I always think I have special powers

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.