I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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In school look at the wall or something and feel like only a few seconds has gone by but really thirty minutes has

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Does anyone else look at people when there talking and then randomly get in on there conversation.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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Okay so probably like everyone else, when Schapelle Corby was found with drugs on her in bali I thought she was innocent but now since she was let out of the prison I am wondering if she did do it?

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When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.