Hate using public bathrooms because everyone can hear you pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Wearing cheap CZ rings to either stop guys hitting on me or pretend I'm engaged.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

thumb_up thumb_down -125

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

thumb_up thumb_down -131

when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When I see something on facebook i dont like, I like it just so i can unlike it.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

thumb_up thumb_down -136

Fantasizing about your friends in like 25 years telling there teenage kids about growing up and being friends with you. When you are a huge rich and famous star.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.