When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

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I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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Okay so probably like everyone else, when Schapelle Corby was found with drugs on her in bali I thought she was innocent but now since she was let out of the prison I am wondering if she did do it?

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When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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Say what even when u heard someone

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.