Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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do you feel that your normal, but you feel that the people around you are being nice to you because your mentally hanicapped

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

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when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

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Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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when your walking past a chain link fence you slide your fingers along it because it feels cool

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.