Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it

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Getting that huge shiver when you take a really good pee.

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Wanting something so much. Getting it then wondering what to do next

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

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eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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When bored, I often fold pieces of paper to make a little point and poke my fingers/hands with it.

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.