Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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Getting that huge shiver when you take a really good pee.

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Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

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When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

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When someone sits with crossed legs, I notice their lifted foot throb slightly with their pulse. It is really distracting sometimes.

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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smoke marijuana

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.