When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

Count the number of letters in a word or phrase.

Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

Wearing cheap CZ rings to either stop guys hitting on me or pretend I'm engaged.

if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.