- Things You Think Only You Do

whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

When I see something on facebook i dont like, I like it just so i can unlike it.

Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

Music is ALWAYS playing in my head. I can't go a day without noticing that the whole time a song is just burned in my brain, playing over and over. Is this okay? Im pretty sure im the only one...

Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.