When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Getting that huge shiver when you take a really good pee.

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

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I always cry when I pray.

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Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.