When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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Say what even when u heard someone

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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In school look at the wall or something and feel like only a few seconds has gone by but really thirty minutes has

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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I always cry when I pray.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

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When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

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When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.