sit in the shower

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

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I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

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Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

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when your walking past a chain link fence you slide your fingers along it because it feels cool

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.