Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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jack off

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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Attempting to start phychic conversations with people in public

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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Spinning around to get dizzy, then spinning the other way to try and undo it.

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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hate Justin Bieber

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log off the internet then think of something and go back on

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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Not expecting anyone to come over, some one knocks on the front door, mute the TV and hope they just go away.

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When you think you don't hear someone, but as soon as you say, "what?" and they start repeating it, you realize that you know what they had said. But then you don't want to be rude, so you let them finish.

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if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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Fantasizing about your friends in like 25 years telling there teenage kids about growing up and being friends with you. When you are a huge rich and famous star.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.