Wearing cheap CZ rings to either stop guys hitting on me or pretend I'm engaged.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

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http://www.todayswhatsappstatus.com/

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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whenever there's a fight on facebook, i sit back and read it and i'm just like "people are stupid hehe"

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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Read through all these posts and get all excited when you see things that you thought only you did

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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Sometimes I kiss my hand and pretend it's a person I like.

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Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

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I tuck all sides of the blanket under my body and feet then over my head and leave a fresh air hole so im in a cocoon of blanket.

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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do you feel that your normal, but you feel that the people around you are being nice to you because your mentally hanicapped

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Think that some of the posts here are pretty damn normal and how that means I am much weirder than I thought I was

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I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.