oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

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When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

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When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

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I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

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Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

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When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

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Scared to flush the tolite at friends houses in fear that i will wake someone up of break the tolite.

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.