open the fridge A eat food B think

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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I laugh easier when im with someone

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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Count the number of letters in a word or phrase.

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"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

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Walking down the toy isle in the store, and feeling a little sad that you're not a kid anymore.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

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I eat ass

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http://www.todayswhatsappstatus.com/

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Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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Ladies ; wear the thin underwear with the really skinny jeans & pants , & save the thick underwear for the baggy jeans & sweatpants ..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.