Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

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Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

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Okay so probably like everyone else, when Schapelle Corby was found with drugs on her in bali I thought she was innocent but now since she was let out of the prison I am wondering if she did do it?

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I talk to myself while playing games so I don't feel lonley!

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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I always think I have special powers

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KICK THE CAN

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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sit in the shower

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Spinning around to get dizzy, then spinning the other way to try and undo it.

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

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when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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http://www.todayswhatsappstatus.com/

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.