I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When out I like to "people watch."

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

thumb_up thumb_down -11

stand in front of a mirror with your headphones in, and lip sync the words of the song playing to pretend you are singing in a music video

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down -95

When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +9

hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

thumb_up thumb_down -109

When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

chewing icecream before you swallow it

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When bored, I often fold pieces of paper to make a little point and poke my fingers/hands with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.