If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.

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Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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Go on this site to feel normal.

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Laughing at a joke that you dont think is funny but everybody else does

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I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Take baths

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Read weird posts like this one on the HorseHead Network.

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When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.