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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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I have seen a UFO

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I'm really picky about how I earn money

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arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

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When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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setting your alarm early so that when you wake up you see you still have time to sleep and you're like YES!!!

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Having that feeling of entering the wrong classroom or bus, even though you know it is the right one.

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Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

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When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

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When I post something on this site, I always do the thumb up at my own post.

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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type "haha" because lol is too gay...but slip sometimes and type lol anyway lol....

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.