Attempting to start phychic conversations with people in public

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if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

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Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

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I've had a problem all my life with people thinking I'm a boy, (I'm a girl) so when I first meet someone, my instinct is to find some reason, (however stupid) to say that I'm a girl, (EX: "Can you believe that people actually think I'm a boy?" like when I just meet them).

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Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Scared to flush the tolite at friends houses in fear that i will wake someone up of break the tolite.

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Erasing the history cache on the computer after visiting an x rated website.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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For some reason I really love to be hated on horsehead network, no idea why, stopped questioning it moments ago... Moral: Know what I mean?

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.