I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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I put big spaces in between comments

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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watch cartoons even though most of my friends don't

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When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

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you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

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http://www.todayswhatsappstatus.com/

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.