write a test and the information i studied most is not on the test

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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Made after doomsday plans

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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When I'm walking on the sidewalks, I make a game of how to walk on the pavement squares so I don't step on a line.

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watch cartoons even though most of my friends don't

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

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Hearing someone singing a song and stopping midway, so you need to finish it.

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.