I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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Randomly think odd scenarios in your head and say if that happened this is what i would do and then forget about it the next day

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having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.

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When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

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Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

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When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

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Counting the lines on the street as they pass the edge of your cars window.

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At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

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I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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When I have nothing do do in Life Science I read the textbook.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.