I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

Randomly think odd scenarios in your head and say if that happened this is what i would do and then forget about it the next day

having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.

When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

Counting the lines on the street as they pass the edge of your cars window.

At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

masturbate quietly in my room.

I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

When I have nothing do do in Life Science I read the textbook.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.