when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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after a shower, try to shake the water off.

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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I only used to eat McCoys Salt & Vinegar crisps when it was raining, because I thought they tasted better when it rains. Anyone else?

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Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

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arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

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I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

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Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.