Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

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whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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I shove food in my face like an animal when I'm home alone instead of eating like a normal person.

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

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feed a gecko worms every day, not the good worms though...

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When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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Having that feeling of entering the wrong classroom or bus, even though you know it is the right one.

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Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.