When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

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I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

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Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

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I check behind the the shower curtin before I use the bathroom at night.

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.