slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

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.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

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whenever there's a fight on facebook, i sit back and read it and i'm just like "people are stupid hehe"

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whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

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When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.