Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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speak proper english

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

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Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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Make hand gestures when talking on phone

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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Avoid as many television commercials as I can

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.