fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Set Fire to the Rain

thumb_up thumb_down -52

when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

thumb_up thumb_down -54

When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

thumb_up thumb_down -66

See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

get caught up in youtube comment arguments

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I type a comment here and secretly feel special

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.