fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

Set Fire to the Rain

when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

get caught up in youtube comment arguments

I type a comment here and secretly feel special

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.