Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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Pee in the shower

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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Time a song on my MP3 player to be the soundtrack to something I'm about to do, especially in public places.

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Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.