Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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I wish I can go somewhere where there is no influences trying to get me to buy a product or be a certain way

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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Search through the most popular section of this website trying to find my one

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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I apologize, when i bump against things.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

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When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Eat ice by itself

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.