I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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When I drop something, I stand there and watch it fall, I stand still because I'm afraid that I'll maybe mess up something else, instead of picking it up quickly. Am I the only one? ;)

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This song will not come out of my head!

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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wonder who wrote these things

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.