i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Reading these, realizing that you don't do some of the things on the top of the list, and wondering if you're weird.

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Play Minecraft

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.