Get scared while I'm doing things on the computer like writing these comments, or other weird stuff because I think there might be a hacker watching my screen.

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.