I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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misread dig bick

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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Play Minecraft

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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Talk to my cat.

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get really confused

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.