Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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Poop naked.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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i always fall in my imaginations. whenever i think of something, e.g me walking to my room, i'd fall on my way there. what's wrong with me.....

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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This song will not come out of my head!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.