Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I brush my teeth while im in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

thumb_up thumb_down -46

never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.