Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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speak proper english

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.