I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Think about breathing...

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.