get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Pee in the shower

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.