if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Think about breathing...

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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Pee in the shower

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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Pee in the shower

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.