I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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Pee in the shower

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.