When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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If its dark and you have to go with rhe stairs i do that running because i tink somebody is behind my

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.