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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Ur mum

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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I like to sleep on the floor; my my cushion is too soft.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

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strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.