When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.