Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

thumb_up thumb_down -62

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

thumb_up thumb_down -66

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Think about breathing...

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When pooping I always fold my TP before. Anyone else do that? I also always have 4 squares each XD Email me if you do it :P mr.michaelgiorgio@gmail.com

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

thumb_up thumb_down -23

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

I can't stop watching ST:DS9, (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) It's so awesome, but then I just, (the same thing happens with whatever T.V. show i watch) GET COMPLETELY OBSESSED with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.