Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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Get scared while I'm doing things on the computer like writing these comments, or other weird stuff because I think there might be a hacker watching my screen.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Poop naked.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.