Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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If I have my computer and I have to do something quietly (because there are other people about) I hear music in heaphones, just so it seems to myself that I'm more discreet, as I can't hear myself.

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.