Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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join online argument even though you have no idea what the argument is about

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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I hit the frig after sex

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Pee in the shower

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.