When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.