Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

thumb_up thumb_down -27

when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

thumb_up thumb_down -35

get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Thinking your life is a movie...

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.