If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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you collect best whatsapp status for your whatsapp and facebook at techcloud7.org

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.