I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.