Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

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When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I can't stop watching ST:DS9, (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) It's so awesome, but then I just, (the same thing happens with whatever T.V. show i watch) GET COMPLETELY OBSESSED with it.

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.