When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.