check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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This song will not come out of my head!

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.