Pick your dead skin then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

thumb_up thumb_down +33

After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I tell inanimate objects what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

thumb_up thumb_down -39

when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.