Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

I masturbate with sandpaper

When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

wen on this website go look at the most disliked

Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.