When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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speak proper english

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.