When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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speak proper english

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.