pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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wonder who wrote these things

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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Pee in the shower

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.