Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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speak proper english

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.