When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.