I chew around the center of carrots.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I pee in the shower. :3

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.