Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

Still record on VHS tapes.

when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

call someone by a siblings name.

Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

If its dark and you have to go with rhe stairs i do that running because i tink somebody is behind my

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Pick your dead skin then eat it.

You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.