Play with my own boobs for no reason

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

I masturbate with sandpaper

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

Pee in the shower

When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.