I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.