Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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speak proper english

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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Pee in the shower

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.