If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

Vote for the other guy

Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

Before posting a comment when you need several consecutive tries to type the words in the box because the lettering is so damn hard to read. But your friend can do it in one try. He got the easy one.

resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

Boinked my neighbor

When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

i always think people can hear my thoughts.

Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.