think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.