Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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sing like a pro in da shower

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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Think about breathing...

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.