Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.