I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.