Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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i see almost everything as a sign

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.