When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Lying in be and pretending you are in a tv show, the characters best friend, playing it out in your mind. Or you dream while awake, and you control it, and you fly to Hollywood and become your faborite celebrities best friend.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.