I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.