I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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check shower for murder then pee

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.