Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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I pee in the shower. :3

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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only feel the need to click one of the related sites that draws you after youve clicked 'next page'

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.