smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.