Pee in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

thumb_up thumb_down -39

play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

pull out a flies wings and let it go

thumb_up thumb_down -51

If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.