when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.