when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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When I drop something, I stand there and watch it fall, I stand still because I'm afraid that I'll maybe mess up something else, instead of picking it up quickly. Am I the only one? ;)

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.