I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.