I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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Pee in the shower

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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only feel the need to click one of the related sites that draws you after youve clicked 'next page'

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.