Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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I hate being called "buddy".

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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call someone by a siblings name.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Think about breathing...

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.