I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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Pee in the shower

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.