When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.