DIY LOL
Anti-Pickup Line
Car Failures
Funny Tip Jars
I AM DISAPPOINT
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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.
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-9
Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.
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-11
Wash my hands after i use the toilet.
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-13
when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath
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-15
I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.
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-21
I wonder if old women enjoy sex?
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-23
When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.
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-25
Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.
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-25
I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.
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-25
Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side
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-25
When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two
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-27
When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..
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-27
Tally mark everytime I take a shit.
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-29
I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.
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-31
A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.
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-33
While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch
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-33
Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.
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-37
Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)
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-39
Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.
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-41
When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.
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-43
smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.
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-45
I masturbate with sandpaper
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-45
Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.
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-47
Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.
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-49
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.