I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.