pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.