Boinked my neighbor

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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only feel the need to click one of the related sites that draws you after youve clicked 'next page'

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.