I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

thumb_up thumb_down

Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

thumb_up thumb_down -2

if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.