Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.