Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

always check thde back seat before starting the car

thumb_up thumb_down -55

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

thumb_up thumb_down

Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

thumb_up thumb_down -30

when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.