After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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I play video games with the controller under the covers.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.