When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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I meow when my cat meows.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.