When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.