When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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check shower for murder then pee

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Think about breathing...

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.