I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.