My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Think about breathing...

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.