I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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Think about breathing...

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.