When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.