play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.