Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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I meow when my cat meows.

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Vote for the other guy

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.