My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

call someone by a siblings name.

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

Pretend my life is a videogame.

Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

Think about breathing...

Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.