When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Think about breathing...

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.