DIY LOL
Clarksonisms
Motivational Generator
Tattoo Failure
yo ima let you finish
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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.
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-38
Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.
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-40
When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.
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-46
smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.
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-48
When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"
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-48
When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials
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-48
See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.
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-50
Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert
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-54
Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.
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-56
Pretend animals talk to you!
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-74
When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.
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-74
Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.
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-76
Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v
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-88
I chew around the center of carrots.
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-88
When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.
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+15
Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.
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+11
Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.
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+9
I always think I have special powers
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-1
worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.
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-1
Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.
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-7
fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward
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-9
when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath
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-13
When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.
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-19
There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.
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-21
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.