Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.