I think about other women when having sex

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Vote for the other guy

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.