Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Think about breathing...

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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I meow when my cat meows.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.