Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.